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 A collective reflection on Hope, Peace, Joy, and LoveSaturday, December 28, 2024 |
| Count the Ways 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, Colossians 3:14 Take a minute to count the ways you have attempted to show love to someone in the past 24 hours. A few decades ago, now famous author and pastor Gary Chapman wrote a book for couples looking for better understanding and communication called The Five Love Languages. The five languages are acts of service (doing the dishes, mowing the yard, helping paint a room), words of encouragement (positive, affirming, uplifting verbal messages written or spoken), quality time (not just time together, but time that is meaningful to the receiver), and gift-giving (look around your post-Christmas opening living room…enough said?). The thinking goes: just learn the language and practice the top one(s) for your partner. This approach has helped many relationships. However, while this practical framework includes aspects of love, it is not complete. The use of the “language” paradigm emphasizes the five that matter most, but we are called to love in all the ways that matter. Just because acts of service or physical touch do not come naturally to me it does not mean I can neglect these practices. Giving gifts, while meaningful for many on Christmas or otherwise, does not replace the other days out of the year when your loved one craves your touch, positive words, or quality time. As Jesus’ followers, we are called to cultivate a practice of the various aspects of love. Famous American psychologist Roger Sternberg discussed his 3-factor theory of romantic love, which suggests key ingredients of love are commitment (decision and working to maintain the relationship), intimacy (feeling connected, bonded, and together), and passion (enthusiasm, excitement, and of course attraction). Without all three together, his suggestion is that you don’t have love at its fullest. Depending on the scholar you love most, there are many other excellent ideas on the necessary ingredients of love (for C.S. Lewis’ take, read The Four Loves). If the Christmas bustle has depleted you, or you are not feeling love from God or your family or friends, perhaps it’s time to meditate on what aspects of love you need. Consider what neighbors, friends, family, colleagues, and perhaps even random people may have done recently to show their love to you. Some of you may have very few of these examples (or none at all) coming to mind. Think further back to the last time you felt love from another. Consider these passages today, which implore us to love. They implicitly remind us that Christ’s love is everything, binding all other virtues together in such a way as to render them “nothing” without the centerpiece in place. During Christmas (if things are going average or better in your world), you may have felt love from family and friends. Did you take time to bask in the unifying love of Jesus? Basking in the love from our family and friends (presents, time together, etc) is one echo of his love. If your Advent season was below average this year, consider that you have a Creator who loves you completely and fully every single day of the week. He loves regardless of the season, who you vote for, or what you are up to at 2 AM. He has decided to love us (and continues deciding). His love includes passion for our hearts, desire for intimacy with us, and commitment to us (and, of course, he looks for the same in return). When we show up for one another with holistic love for God and for others, we are providing a reflection of the most precious emotional resource possible. If you feel no one has shown up for you recently, consider letting someone know. Start with your heavenly Father, and see if he is nudging you to open up to someone else in your life. If you are feeling loved right now, consider those around you who could use a reminder of Christ’s love for them. Anonymous PRAYER FOR TODAY Father, thank you for loving us. Help us love each other more fully. When we feel proud of our love language skills of giving meaningful gifts, delivering positive words, committing to quality time for others, providing our physical or emotional presence, or serving others without expectation for return, please help us realize you have perfected these and all other demonstrations of love. Please continue to show us your heart. Help our hearts grow in commitment, passion, and intimacy for your heart. Help us expand our minds on what it means to love and be loved. We need your help for our actions and words to be soaked in your love. Help us see when we are acting in ways that contradict the fullness of your love. Amen. DOWNLOAD ECHOES OF HOPE PDF BOOKLET |
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